


Robot Squirrels

by Stella_Malodi



Series: Silly Words for the Silly Soul(mate fic) [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Captain America's Patriotic Frisbee, Confused Steve Rogers, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Meet-Cute, Robot Squirrels, SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 02:38:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4859876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stella_Malodi/pseuds/Stella_Malodi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Formerly titled "Rescue") Cats and dogs? Nah. It was raining evil robot squirrels the day they met.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Darcy was on her way back from a coffee run when, for the third time that month, robots started falling out of the sky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Robot Squirrels

**Author's Note:**

> Just to clarify: in this version, everyone is born with their Soulmark, the first words their Soulmate will say to them. And if their Soulmate is a rambler? Well, they might just have a really big Soulmark.

Soulmarks were private. Always. One never showed one’s Soulmark to anyone except one’s Soulmate. But Steve was pretty sure that, if he could take a survey, he’d win the prize for Strangest Soulmark Ever. Because, apparently, his Soulmate swore by mythical Norse deities and would need rescuing from ‘evil robot squirrels.’

On the bright side, he could look forward to _never ever_ having a false positive.

 

* * *

 

Darcy was on her way back from a coffee run when, for the third time that month, robots started falling out of the sky.

Well, okay, they were being launched out of airplanes really, but she didn’t _know_ that, not at first. She was just walking down the street, trying not to bump into anyone or spill anything, when BOOM. Robot the size of a bike, right in front of her. It kind of looked like a squirrel, actually, if squirrels were metal, the size of a bicycle, and had knives instead of fur on their tails.

...and breathed fire.

Okay, so it was nothing like a squirrel. Whatever. She was still calling them squirrel-bots

Darcy glanced around and bit her lip. The surrounding buildings had all locked down (standard procedure; being located near Avengers Tower meant a fast response from the Avengers if danger came calling, but it also meant danger came calling more often than it would in another neighborhood) and the nearest of the SI Boom Shelters (“There for when things go ‘boom,’” according to Tony) sprinkled throughout the city would be full by the time she could get there. Her best chance of survival was, therefore, to find a weapon and a defensible position.

At the very least, she could get away from where the main action was taking place.

Like many of Darcy’s plans, it looked good on paper, but fell apart when she tried to put it into practice. She stumbled upon one of the squirrel-bots—almost literally—while she was looking for a good place to hide. She managed to take it out with her trusty taser, but apparently that sent out an invitation for all the other squirrel-bots to come out and play with her.

She really should have considered the possibility of a ‘resistance was _not_ futile; send back-up’ signal, but she’d been a bit more focused on the thing’s tail, which looked like it would make a good weapon. (Spoiler alert: it did. It really, really did.) By the time she’d gotten a grip on the part of it that _wasn’t_ sharp or sparky, four of them had shown up and were trying to back her into a corner. (Or kill her. They really weren’t being picky.) She managed to get three of the four with only a few scrapes—mostly from dodging her way into a wall or onto the ground—but more of them were starting to show up by the time she turned to the fourth one.

She needed a way out. Or possibly a distraction. Maybe both.

She grabbed her phone and called Tony “Distraction” Stark.

“Busy now, Sparky.”

“Got a bit of a problem, Fe Male.”

“Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

“‘Off’ required percussive maintenance. Not too keen on turning the flaming squirrel-bots back on.”

“Didn’t you read the signs? They said _don’t_ feed the squirrels.”

“But they’re so cute and fluffy!”

“And plague-ridden.”

“And currently trying to maim and/or kill me.”

“Pest control is on its way.”

She managed to take out three more of the stupid robots before help arrived in the form of an Avenger wielding a patriotic frisbee. With a relieved sigh, she stepped back and watched the avenging, taking a swing if any of the squirrel-bots got too close, but otherwise staying out of it.

“Well, thank Thor that’s over. _Way_ too close for comfort, and _so_ not the way I want to go. I mean, can you imagine the obituary? ‘Darcy Lewis, beloved gofer, scientist wrangler, and tase-er of the god of thunder, killed by evil robot squirrels.’ Actually, that would be kind of an awesome obit. Still not the way I want to go, but… anyway, what I’m trying to say is, thanks for the rescue.”

He blinked at her for a moment, gave her a onceover, and was starting to smile when an explosion pulled his attention away. He shook his head. “I have to—Darcy Lewis, it is wonderful to finally meet you, but I need to get back out there. Please, find somewhere safe to hole up until this is over and don’t start any more inter-rodent wars.”

She stared after him as he ran off, but recovered enough from meeting her _Soulmate_ —who was _Captain Freaking America_ —to shout “I’m not that kind of gofer!” before he was out of earshot.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [In the Act of Committing a Crime](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7956688) by [Astiar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astiar/pseuds/Astiar)




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